School is about to start, Junior year..filled with SATs, ACTs, and tests that I’ll get very worked up about. I’m not excited, and my schedule is very hard. 3 AP classes, and one college class. Frick.

That means…no website updates for a while, MAYBE. Or maybe I’ll be inspired NOT to do my homework, haha. We’ll see.

Hope everyone is still enjoying their summer, what little there is left..or enjoying the new school year! YAY! - not.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having an eventful summer, and that all their wants and desires and being fulfilled by the blue sky above.

Peace for now!

School = shit
Life = going along at a painful rate
Friends = same as ever
Love = what’s that?

I wish I were one of those carefree people, that couldn’t have the slightest wish to further themselves in this world. It seems, sometimes, that those kind of people excel at life compared to the rest of us. It doesn’t seem fair at all - but who said anything had to be fair? Guys seem to pull it off better than girls do, it’s almost as if we’re programmed that way.
Forget about what I said about that guy. He’s currently on my hit-list. I think I’ve lost faith in those feelings in the opposite sex, it doesn’t do you much good. So I’m going to avoid it at all costs. Maybe when I get somewhere else more significant, I’ll find that guy, but for now I’m going to bury myself in work whilst keeping my head up.
Man, I can’t wait to get out of this Highschool ****hole.

I’m dreading Valentine’s day. It’s a hallmark holiday; the one day PDA is acceptable, and all the single people cringe in disgust and jealousy.
I’m sorry for such a down in the dumps post, I’m supposed to be happy and jubilant, yes? I find I’m becoming more and more cynical as the days go by.
Peace for now.

I really like this dude who’s in 3 of my classes. heh heh
He’s bad news though.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday weather! Sorry for such a short update!

Peace for now.

but outdoor school was fucking awesome.

period.

i’m short on words right now because it is 1:34 AM, and i think i’m going to hit the hay bay lay jay!

hooshaaa!

Look who’s baccccccck. Guess who’s back, back in black, etc. etc. Anywho, I succumbed and redid my site, sorted, deleted, tidied, and commented. It has been a while, really it has. I guess the chapter in my life where web design and blogging are part of my routine has seeped back into its place.

I wrote a more “deep” blog entry 1 back (click next page and it’ll take you there); and if you’re feeling the need to be entirely depressed and read a boring-long-ass-entry then be my guest. If not, no shame. I won’t hold it against you, haha.

By the way, this layout is kind of messed up (give me some slack, it has been a while), but when you scroll down the image disappears, or rather, it’s like a blind disappearing thing. I’m too lazy to fix it - and too lazy to ask someone to help me fix it. So I suppose it’s going to stay like that, so please don’t whine about it - cause trust me - I already am. I mean, I’m whining to myself…if you get the gist of what I’m saying…if not, I won’t hold that against you either.

Life is just sort of, busy, right now, yet it seems like it’s at this standstill.
Am I rambling?
So…PEACE FOR NOW?

My time so far (since you’ve last heard me) has been a little rocky. It certainly started out great, but it most definitely didn’t turn out how I wanted it to. I suppose it wasn’t worth falling in love, and then out. If you can call it love, at this age it’s hard to describe the feelings. Though it’s safe to say (as most people do) it was a mix of hormones and bad decisions. I suppose that occupied a lot of my time, I’ve made a pact not to date anyone again. If you heard the whole story I don’t think you’d quite think it was a disaster, but for me internally, it was only that. My personality requires a lot of anxiety and worrying, and since this was my first boyfriend, I got to experience it first hand, and it’s not one that I would like to repeat, for my own selfishness.

School is stressful, but I’m getting back into the routine. I’m going to get lost in pens and notebooks, track suits and running shoes. I was inevitably stressed and anxiety-ish at the beginning of the school year, it was nothing but painful, sleep was only a dream (seemly was one of my symptoms, lack of sleep). I managed to practically book myself for the whole year, taking up all the hard classes. I thought it would look good - being it’s only my sophomore year, but this is one of those moments in my life where I say “easier said than done” and that saying could never be more true. I will get through it though, with lots of complaining, and struggle, I will pull myself through. Though I’ll admit, it’s hard to look at him sometimes when I have to see him, I guess the way it ended I didn’t get a lot of closure, he most likely didn’t care.

One of the things that has really helped me cope with my stress and anxiety is running, I joined the cross country team. Though my intention last year for joining this year (I didn’t do it last year cause it was too late in the season) was being that someone someone was on it, didn’t seem to happen this year. He injured himself during track and just doesn’t run anymore, at all. I find it kind of funny, I don’t really mind it, I’m just GLAD I joined because I don’t know how I would have handled myself if I hadn’t. It really releases something in me when I run…I’m not really sure what it is. It just seems like all the bad things. When I’m stressed/anxiety stricken I have a feeling of just wanting to scream really really loud, and hard, and when I run it seems like I am screaming, but after it, I feel like I’ve let it all out. It’s really a great feeling.

I’ve been really getting into jazzy electric music, and trance, like those famous DDR songs, haha. Pinback came out with an amazing new album, it’s very upbeat, but it can’t compare to Penelope and Fortress (the songs), even the new album combined. I don’t really like the album that Broken Social Scene combined with this dude, it’s just..not them it seems. I enjoy their more laid back tunes.

I’ll be moving along life, in a blur; time flies, it’s amazing, and it’s sad. The best moments end up being the shortest, and the worst the longest, change is creeping up my back, but I think this time I’m going to welcome it. A healthy dose of change never hurt anyone - so till next time! I hope everyone is awesome, lovin’ life, and just totally incandescently happy!

In other news - I’ve got a job I work Wed - Fri 11AM to when lunch hour ends. I bus tables at this Italian restaurant, it’s very nice. I basically only got the job because my mom knows the owner and has been friends with him for 10+ years. Everyone is really nice there, and I haven’t dropped anything yet *knocks on wood* I’m bound to eventually.

Summer is going well - very well actually. What about you guys? Peace for now! (I promise…sometime I will do that awesome vamp, and a new layout!)

I ran 7 miles yesterday though, that is, I didn’t know the trail was 7 miles round trip. When I got back home my neighbor informed me how long it was. I have a feeling that if I had known the distance I wouldn’t have been able to run it. Man, 7 miles though, never in my life…and I ran the wholeeee thing! ‘Mazin I say.

I’ve never really understood what an accountant does, but from accounting San Diego gave me a good idea what they’re about. So if you’re in San Diego and need an accountant, voila! Perfect place to check out